The Ontario Colleges have been on strike for the last few weeks so I have been lucky as far as missing school goes - with my broken heel and all. School resumes though, tomorrow. As I think about heading back I am uncertain that going into journalism is what I want to do with my life. I'll continue my studies, I've come this far already, but the time I've had off and spent alone has given me time to think about my life and what I'm doing. As I've been writing my novel and reading numerous novels by other authors, I've grown more and more passionate about becoming a full time novelist. I feel very strongly that this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life but on the other hand I know that one day soon my girlfriend and I want to get married and eventually start a family. I also realize how difficult it is to make a living as a novelist as one's success is determined by how much people enjoy one's work. I'd like to think that the novel I'm working on will be a good one but I need to convince others of that. Self-assurance doesn't get you very far in that business. I know also that, having no ties with the publishing industry, I am likely going to have to self-publish my first novel. That takes money of which I have none. My dad has published a book and I asked him who he got to publish it but he told me that self-publishing was the best idea. He said I would have to set up presentations at book stores and talk about what the book is about to arouse an interest in readers. I don't think he realizes how different publishing fiction is from non-fiction. Or maybe he's right. I think I have to research publishing a little more before I figure out which avenue I'll take. If I could do it though, publish a book, and keep publishing them...that would be a dream come true.

I've always been passionate about writing, since I was in kindergarten I've been writing stories and poetry. For a while though, I strayed and thought my heart was on the stage. I am still very passionate about theatre but I realized I had been deceiving myself. I was trying to convince myself that theatre was the way to go, that I should like acting more than writing. Why or how I did that, I'm not sure. Now I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that writing fiction is my greatest occupational passion. I have to make it work. Why shouldn't I be an author? Average people become authors no problem. Look at Stephen King or J.K. Rowling or John Saul. They must have been just regular people at one point. They decided though that they could make books and entertain people and stir emotions in people.

This has been helpful. I think I've managed to encourage myself a little.