My guinea pig has died.

Being temporarily crippled, I haven't been able to go downstairs (where my room is) to take care of my animals. I have a guinea pig, a chinchilla and a rabbit - just in my room. We also have a dog and a bearded dragon. Since I haven't been able to get downstairs, my little brother has been feeding the animals in my room and my grandfather, who also lives with us, has been caring for the dragon.

My brother said that yesterday, my guinea pig was very active and seemed quite happy. When he came upstairs from feeding it this morning, he said he was not moving or going for his food. My mom went downstairs to check on him a couple of hours ago and said he had died. She and my grandpa cleaned everything up.

So I'll have to work a little harder on staying positive.

As much as I've tried to keep myself positive throughout this whole injury to my heel, I've begun to become embittered and started to worry about things.

For one thing, I am not working right now. I have no way of earning any income and I still have bills to pay. I am not eligible for EI, not that I think I would take it anyway. I have to find some way of remotely earning funds. I wish it was possible for authors to just make money - it's funny that all the things I love to do are the hardest ways of earning cash-flow. Literature and theatre are my two loves but both have almost no future in them. I am determined, though to make it as a full time author. I'd like to write at least thirty books by the time I die. I stray. Point is, I make no money right now. In an ideal world, I would send some of my writing in to a publisher and start making money off it. Alas, right now it still only remains a passion.

Sitting on this couch for two weeks is starting to get to me. I think I mentioned in a previous post that, on top of my broken right heel, I pulled a muscle in my left arm. I was hoping my arm would be better by today. My hopes were dashed. My arm hurts like the dickens and no therapy administered thus far has done anything to help. A lot of time, I'm sitting by myself in my living room with no one to speak to. At first, the solitude was nice. Now I feel twice as depressed when there is no one home. On the other hand, I feel bad when people sit around to keep me company. I know how boring it can get hanging out with a cripple.

I think I might be going a little bit crazy.

Once my arm recovers, I'll feel better. I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now.

Well, it's Saturday morning and that means there are only two days left til I have to go back to school. I am not looking forward to it one bit. My foot throbs if I stand up for more than two minutes (using crutches of course...it'll be a while with those.) My Mom tried telling me I should be getting a wheel chair but I made it abundantly clear that is not going to happen. I still haven't figured out how I'm going to get to school let alone move around within the school. I can't drive myself and there is no way on earth I am hobbling my way 2.5 km to the bus stop, especially in the snow - if it comes.

I have to find some way to make money too. There is no way I can pay my bills with no income. It's not like these are avoidable bills either. Bloody ridiculous.

I've been in pretty rough shape the past two days or so, although it's getting better. I guess I was wearing my sock on my good foot for too long and it wound up cutting off the circulation. My leg and foot swelled up nice and big. The swelling in my leg went down right away but my foot is still a bit swollen. It doesn't hurt or anything but it had me worried for a bit. It was cool though, I could push on the top of my foot with my finger and the indent would remain for about ten seconds.

Then yesterday morning I woke up and must've moved weird or something cause I pulled a muscle in my left arm. It got so bad that I couldn't use a crutch with that arm...my family found it pretty funny seeing me using one crutch and one leg with my left arm held in a weird position to keep it from hurting. The arm is getting better though, I actually think there is only a dull remainder of the pain that was there, nothing I can't handle.

I really don't like complaining about this stuff, I always feel like I am just sounding like an attention seeker or a drama-king. This is a blog though and I suppose that is what such things are for. I guess if I didn't write about my physical pain, I wouldn't have written much at all in the last few weeks.

I've got some friends coming over today which I'm pretty glad about. I haven't really seen anybody except my family and my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend very much (my family too) but I feel bad for her when she has to just sit around and watch me suffer. There's nothing for her to do and she gets restless easily so I try to encourage her to go out with her friends. I don't have to feel bad for my friends though cause this is their first time visiting so they haven't suffered too much yet. Again, I'm not saying anything bad about them - I don't care that they haven't visited. I feel bad for people who have to keep a gimp company.

The story I have been writing is developing nicely into a novel. Scary thing is, I actually have a plan to make it long enough to actually be a novel. I think it's a pretty decent concept too but concepts don't get published, presentations do. I just have to make sure I present it right. Then I have to find some way to get it published. I was actually thinking I might go through an American publisher, if it's allowed. When people think of Canadian anything, they tend to think lower quality. It also doesn't help that I'm young so I'll have to make the about the author as ominous a possible. I guess those are things to think of when I actually have a novel to publish though. I actually found a website that helps people to get their work published whether they be in Canada or America. For all you writer's...if anyone actually reads this blog, the website is http://www.authorhouse.com/
Just click on "Contact Us" I think and that takes you to the form to fill out.

That's all I got right now. Time to enjoy my coffee.

End transmission

I woke up this morning and my foot was in more pain than it has been in a few days. It was excruciating. I realized I had forgotten to take my pill last night and immediately downed one. After about half an hour, the pain subsided. The endocet is starting to work a little better. It actually takes away the majority of the pain provided I don't move my foot at all, which I've grown used to. Thing is, I want to be back in school by next week so I am going to have to get mobile and suck it up and live with the pain. I've been taking little trips around my house (inside of course) to get me used to the movement and the crutches. I can go like mad on the crutches but after a couple of minutes of being up, my foot starts to throb. I have to hope that goes away or it's going to be a painful time at school.

That's all I got right now...like I said before, uninspired.

It's hard to keep up the writing when all I can do is sit on a couch all day and all night. Nothing inspirational really happens. However, in the spirit of self-discipline, I am determined to keep this blog current.

The foot is still sore and still swollen and still yellow. The swelling and the colour usually go down a couple of hours after I wake up, probably cause I elevate it and, when I think of it, put it on ice (even though it hurts like the dickens to put my foot down.)

I'm sort of overwhelmed by how everyone is being so good about waiting on me hand and...foot. Nobody has complained and everyone, even my littlest sister is always asking me if there is anything they can do for me. Good to have family like that.

I went to see a doctor at the blood clot clinic yesterday to see if I was at risk for blood clots. Thankfully, I am not. It seemed like a big waste of time, really. I got there and waited 45 minutes (which is actually fast for a hospital, even with an appointment) and then spoke to the doctor for all of 30 seconds before he told me I had nothing to worry about. It wouldn't have been so bad but if it car rides weren't so excruciatingly painful for me on my foot.

The swelling has come back. It had subsided for a bit yesterday and the day before but now it's all yellow and nasty and swollen again. I've had it on ice a couple of times today but that hurts too cause I have to rest the heel directly on the ice. No good.

I've finally made some good progress on the story I'm writing (a fiction.) I'm not sure though whether I should make it a short story or a full blown novel - which I would like nothing more to do. I think the story could go either way so what I might do is write it as a short story and send it to a magazine then push it into something bigger if I can. Or maybe I'll just write and see what I come up with.

Day 5 of the broken heel...

I finally got more than two hours of sleep last night, about four and a half. Not exactly a full nights sleep but it did me good. My brain was slowing down at a very efficient rate. I couldn't make simple connections, couldn't pinpoint things that were right in front of my eyes and I started seeing things. Every now and then, out of the corner of my eye I would see something moving or something, it got pretty weird. There was one point when I was watching TV and to my left, on the chair, was a pile of blankets. As I was watching TV, my peripheral vision interpreted those blankets to be a person sitting in the chair (I was by myself.) Funny thing is I didn't think anything of someone sitting in that chair for a few minutes. I finally realized that no one should be sitting there and turned to look only to see the blankets. Crazy.

Anyway, now I'm well rested. I got new meds prescribed too, as I may have mentioned. They work a whole lot better. Only thing is these ones are habit forming so I have to be cautious that I obey the prescription instructions to the "t".

I went to the bathroom about half an hour ago and someone had clogged the toilet (the water level was abnormal and there was a little clot of tissue visible in the bottom.) I couldn't hold it and no one else is home right now so I went and then out of force of habit I flushed. I immediately realized my error and had to drop one crutch and yank the lid of the tank and prop in under my arm. I needed the other hand to grab the little lever thing that stops water flow so I had to drop the other crutch. Now I'm balancing on one foot holding the tank lid (which is kinda heavy) under one arm and holding up the lever thing in the other hand. The water level never went back to normal and I can't get to the plunger with my foot the way it is. So now I have a dirty, too-full toilet that I can't use until someone gets home. Not a good start to my day.

Hopefully the rest of the day goes smoothly. If anything cool happens I'll be sure to write about it.

I saw the doctor today and his diagnosis was much better than I expected.

Good News: I do indeed have a fractured calcaneus but it broke in a nice, neat manner and I don't need surgery or a cast. So no metal frames in my foot. A little disappointing (might as well have gone all out) but that's ok.

Bad News: I can't put any pressure on that foot for three months. So the Couch Potato Club can induct me as their newest member. I'm not exactly sure how I am going to get to school but I have to keep going (I'm taking the rest of the week off and next week is reading week.) I don't know what I'm going to do about work either.

Better stop there, the bad news is out-weighing the good news and I don't want to seem like a downer. This is a great opportunity for me to get lots of writing done. Now I just have to search my living room for inspiration...

They gave me this really cool boot to wear when I'm at risk of being bumped (whch is pretty much whenever there is anyone else home.) It's a big solid thing with little air cushions in it to be inflated for support and comfort. It's pretty sweet.

I haven't been able to sleep more than two hours a night since breaking my heel because of the pain so the doc prescribed me with some stronger medication. I'm eager to see if that does the trick.

Well back to recovering...my favourite part of this.

I have been damaged.

I have (had) this bad habit of jumping down the basement stairs from near the top, using the banister as support to both elevate me and slow me whilst landing. It's one of those flimsy banisters that you commonly see used on basement staircases, made up of three glued together pieces of cedar.

This past Friday was an average kind of day (I didn't go to school though and, thinking about it, if I had been there I would not have had this accident.) I was having a good ole stay at home day, getting a lot done and such. I had just returned from picking up my brother from school. He missed the bus and his school is too far to walk from in the winter so I obliged. Almost immediately after I returned (I had already gotten comfortable) my other brother asked me to take him to the store to get an adapter to hook his MP3 player up to his stereo. I was sick of driving for the time being and said "no." Then I decided I wanted a ginger ale. It's funny cause I don't usually drink pop unless it's diet - this ginger ale was not diet.

At any rate, I opened the basement door, took two steps and leaned forward. I braced my left hand against the white-washed drywall just above where it ended and grabbed the three-piece cedar banister with my right hand (it felt sturdy enough at the time.) Then, with the unchallenged confidence of a young male and the grace of an armless pole-vaulter, I launched myself into the air - my hands using the wall and banister to gain extra height. As I descended, like every other time I had done this (which had to be on a daily basis), I held tight to the banister and kept my hand firmly planted on the wall. Every day prior to Friday the banister and wall would together slow me down just enough so that a safe landing awaited me at the bottom of the stairs. I would land and, bending at the knees, allow my legs and body to absorb the impact. Then I would rise, triumphantly and march away from the bottom of the stairs, ready to jump again when the time came.

What must have happened on Friday was that I didn't distribute my weight evenly between the wall and the banister. Or the banister had gotten tired of the abuse and had simply given up. Or perhaps God saw right through my adolescent illusion of immortality and had decided to remind me of my place. Maybe the conditions in my basement are too dry to support a banister, perhaps it became too brittle and could not possibly support me if it wanted to. Whatever happened, the wall was my only friend at that moment and even it could not save me.

The moment I began my descent, the banister snapped out from underneath my right hand. The resulting sound was a loud, sharp "snap!" Instantly my thoughts were of how my parents were going to react to me breaking their banister doing something they so often told me not to do.

After the snap and the brief flurry of worried thoughts about busted railings I remember nothing but incredible pain. I now know exactly what people mean when they talk about a white-hot pain. I landed directly on the heel of my right foot, fell and wound up rolling over the vacuum cleaner and landing on my back. I must have yelled because immediately the house was alive with pounding footsteps and shouts of "What happened?"

My brother Lucian was the first on the scene. He immediately began mending the broken banister. My Dad and Mom came next. Then D.C. then Lara then my Grandpa and finally Reuben who later told me that he was hesitant to come see what had happened because he did not have a doubt in his mind that I had died. He said the way I screamed ended with a terrible sigh like some dramatic Hollywood death.

After a tortuous forty minutes of driving we arrived at an ambulatory clinic (just a fancy term for a small hospital.) They told me I broke my heel. More specifically my calcaneus.

I have an appointment tomorrow with an orthopedic surgeon to see what exactly needs to be done but as the above site mentions, it could take six months to recover from this. Funny way to go down eh?